DON’T STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU ARE NOT VALUED OR RESPECTED: DON’T SETTLE

 

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A lot of us put more thoughts into what toppings they put on our pizza than what we want in a relationship.

When it comes to relationship these days, a lot of us are in such a hurry to be in one. That we’ll choose the first person who shows us any type interest, whether it be good or bad. Without fully getting to know them, we start making commitment to with them exclusively.

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We are so eager to find love that we are willing to play Russian roulette, hoping that this one will be the right one.

We stay, even though we are unhappy, constantly telling ourselves, that its better to be in a relationship than being single and alone.We hold onto the memories of the  times that treated us good, hoping that maybe they’ll change

Not knowing the damage we are doing to ourselves.

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Even though it doesn’t happen straight away, but eventually settling causes resentment, unhappiness, and regret. That will result in more pain and suffering – and you’ll beat yourself up everyday for staying

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Choosing the wrong partner can have drastic affect on your life;

  • The wrong person for you  brings out the worst in you.
  • They’ll use you and you’ll feel more alone than if you were single.
  • The wrong person for you will strip away your happiness. you’ll always feel empty with them

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Whereas When You Choose The Right Person For You;

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•The right person for you will help you grow into the best version of yourself.

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•The right person for you will support you

•The right person for you can make  even the glummest day beautifulRomantic-Weekend-Getaway-For-2-Hartbeespoort-Dam_2

 

Seems so easy to spot the difference between the person that’s right for us and someone who isn’t , so why are we still finding ourselves stuck in unfulfilling relationships?

 

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The Unrealistic Pressure To Settle And What Are The Reason Behind Why We Are Willing To Settle?

Ladies …

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Friends and Family pressuring us to give them constant up date on your relationship status.

Feeling your biological clock is ticking

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Reaching a certain age and Seeing everyone around you getting married and having kids and settling. We start to panic and feel like it’s now or never, starting over isn’t an option.

The Pressure Of Society

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You constantly see stuff in the Media, movies, music, and tradition  that makes you feel that if you’re single and not   wanted by  someone then you aren’t valuable/attractive or worthy of love.

 

Blinded By Emotions

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We sometimes tend overlook all of the red flags. We overlook, the way they treat us and somehow believe we can change them.

Dependency. At times we feel like without them we are nothing. this could be  financially, history you have with them or emotionally.

 

Fellas…

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Not wanting to hurt their feelings  

Staying with them because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings, even though you knew you are not attracted to them in any shape or form and you it isn’t going to work out in the long run.But you stayed any way because you’ve already invested time.

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You cant believe your luck for scoring such a babe. So you stay despite not having any emotional connection
You’re only keeping them around because, you can’t fathom the thought of them being with anyone else.

You’re afraid of being alone, its easier to keep them around instead of starting over again

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Having them around means you can have access to sex, even though there’s no spark.

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In order to overcome the points address above, you got to work on building your self esteem. LEARN YOUR WORTH!!!

This way, when you’re deciding to be exclusive with someone, you’ll know if it’s truly YOUR decision.

We are all individuals  with our own values, needs, and expectations. Just because you Like someone, doesn’t mean that you and them are compatible.

Be  Romantically Selective — it’s the only way to truly discover what you need in a partner. It’s also how you learn to be a better partner. And how to  create healthy, lasting relationships.

4 Questions To Consider  To Avoid Settling

considering these questions can help you make an educated decision, before you become exclusive with someone. If you can answer yes to these questions, then you’re on the right path.

1. Am I  physically attracted to them?

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  Physical attraction should be one of the starting point for everyone. I concur this, its hard to stay and maintain an intimate relationship with someone you don’t find physically attracted to. I don’t mean this in the form of what society views as beautiful but from personal preferences.

 

2. Do they respect me?

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A good Healthy relationships is built on  trust, respect, care, honesty, emotional investment and compassion. Find someone who treats you as an equal, who respect you now, rather than someone that you are hoping to change. Unless you like being treated like crap. Not someone who you hope will change, but someone who respects you now.

3. Can We Connect On A Deeper Level? 

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You should never stay with anyone out of fear, its unhealthy Staying with someone out of fear, approval, desperation, pressure, or control are never valid reasons. You should want to be that person because you’re excited to connect with them on a deeper level.

4. Do you both have the same relationship expectations?

 

When looking to get into a serious relationship — answering some these question can help you guys, figure out what it is that you both want, and if going ahead is an option. IE religious beliefs, marriage, kids.

There are some major viewpoints in life you both need to agree on. Or at least be able to compromise. Having your expectations not met is a surefire way to be stuck in an unsatisfying relationship.

Be with someone who makes every day better, not just palatable. When you find a great match there won’t every be a question of “settling”.

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